This Tube Shall Pass

This Tube Shall Pass

WARNING – Portions of the following blog may qualify as TMI –too much information

Science has never really been my thing; especially when it comes to matters of a biological or medical nature. To be honest, most of it, simply grosses me out. I try to steer away from detailed conversations of ailments and procedures; I don’t enjoy looking at scars or wounds; and, if given the option, I would always prefer to be knocked unconscious for anything a doctor wishes to “check out,” “perform,” or “test”. As a first time mom, 16 years ago, I remember reading over the discharge papers for my little “bundle of Joy”; the things to “watch for” read like something from a Stephen King novel…I mean, really, “projectile vomiting” …I can promise you that at that very moment I prayed, “Please, Lord, do not let me experience that one.” But guess what…a little formula, a little ride in the baby swing and nightmares become realities.

As one might imagine, the diagnosis of breast cancer has truly provided many opportunities for me to face my intimidation of all things medical; and, if I do say so myself, I have, for the most part, done fairly well. That is, until the evening of February 21, when I opened my eyes after surgery to find my surgeon inviting everyone in the room (primarily family members) to gather around and watch as he showed them how to “strip” my drainage tubes. WHAT??? Even in a drug induced stupor I knew that was not right…I didn’t have drainage tubes…did someone accidentally wheel me into an auto mechanics garage? Peering through my half opened eyes, I looked around frantically to discover most of my visitors trying to file out of the room as quickly as possible. My doctor looked baffled, as if to say, “Why would they not want to stay for something as exciting as this?” I simply wished I could have gotten up and gone with them, but alas it was not to be. The truth was…I had drainage tubes, six of them. YUCK!

I wish I could say that having the six extra appendages made no difference in my life, but in reality all sorts of concessions had to be made for their existence. At least twice a day, they had to be emptied and “stripped” (no details will be given)…but it wasn’t pleasant for anyone involved; clothing choices were made based on what would provide the best camouflage; moments of discomfort would arise when said tubes were accidently caught on something or inadvertently allowed to drop; and when it came to sleeping and showering, well it was a bit challenging. About a week after surgery, while at a follow up appointment with one of the surgeons, the nurse said, “We are going to remove two of your drains today, Mrs. Hamilton.” Okay, I’m not going to lie, all I could think of was, “Wait a minute, I was asleep when they put these things in and now she is just going to yank them out…this cannot be good.”

She told me to breath in, breath out and just like that it was over. This Monday, I said goodbye to my last drain, almost seven weeks after surgery. I cried. Not because of pain or discomfort, because there wasn’t any; but because of the overwhelming freedom of not having to deal with them any longer.

God is so good and throughout this process, He has taught me so many lessons; and the drains have been no different. Galatians 5:1 says, “It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.” I love the feeling of freedom, the ability to move about without anything hindering or obstructing; yet, so often I give that up in my spiritual walk. I allow myself to be entangled in destructive relationships, wrong decisions, negative thoughts and overwhelming sin. It is God’s desire that I cease trying to camouflage those things that ensnare me and instead get rid of them. Jesus came that I might have LIFE and have it more abundantly (John 10:10)…He says that in all things I should rejoice (Philippians 4:4) because He is with me in all things. It is His will that I let go of anything that seeks to drain my joy and take hold of the Truth of His unbelievable freedom! Good News, He desires that for all of us and trust me, there are few things greater than getting rid of the drains.

Lord, help me grab on to Your freedom and let go of the drains.